Things are simple, to the point, and grounded in reality. It also approaches the genre without ballooning the production budget. This page-turner has the potential to be a high octane sci-fi television show in the vein of 12 MONKEYS or ALPHAS. Linda appears in the dream, but hint at her character earlier. That way there's some kind of "ticking clock objective" which they need to accomplish before he arrives. Consider Brody or Derek knowing about Wheeler. ![]() Wheeler's arrival is awesome, but if there was some kind of warning or clue that it was coming, it would be much more satisfying. The characters of Linda and Wheeler are from Derek's future time, but they just appear without any context in the story. Then Act 4's main conflict is getting Derek to remember what happened and no time is wasted dealing with the FBI agents' repetitive info. Consider condensing these scenes so that when they look at the suit, Derek is there with them. A script shouldn't be giving out the same information more than once, or it will bore the audience. The audience, does, however, meaning that they'll be getting this information twice. They want to know how it got there, but he has no idea. Act 3 ends with them finding this tag and not believing it, but the following scenes in Act 4 are these same agents coming to Derek and telling him this tag is on the suit. The main repetitive beat is right after the FBI agents find the 2059 tag on Derek's suit. The weaknesses here are some repetitive beats and a lack of context for some of the ancillary "future" characters like Wheeler or Linda. His connection with Linda is powerful and visceral in the dream, and audiences are going to want to learn what happened there. What works especially well is seeing the juxtaposition of how much Derek cares for Linda in the dream to how much he cares about himself in his relative present time. Derek's dream sets up a whole portion of the story that this reader assumes will come down the pipe once the show gets more episodes. Emma arrives, and the FBI agents finding the 2059 tag are all page-turners. Derek heading through the worm hole, Derek passing out just as Dr. The antigravity suit is super futuristic and cool stuff like this will bring the "wow" factor to the show. These characteristics make him smart and likable. When the General tells him to go with God, Derek's remark "I'm sure he has more pleasant things to do" both tells the audience that Derek is a man of science who doesn't believe in God and that he's a bit sarcastic and funny. He's willing to take the suit himself, despite his physical limitations, and head through the wormhole. Right off the bat, Derek is a brave and forward thinking protagonist. The numerous strengths in this piece are its wonderful premise, its strong and active protagonist, and its ability to ground science in reality. ![]() When traveling from the future, a time-traveler accidentally causes a miniature black hole to form in the present, but as scientists try to deal with the problem, the time traveler tries to regain his memory. Looks like you need to be a member to view the link. ![]() I think the coverage is a solid effort, and a 6 isn't that bad, but it reads a bit biased in my opinion. ![]() Feels a bit like saying cops hunting a killer doesn't make sense if they don't arrest him in the end. The reader points this out as a weakness, saying time travel makes no sense if they can't change anything. Then another key 'rule' in the series is, they are able to travel back in time, but they can't change it, they are only 'observers' or 'time detectives' if you want. How the reader came to the conclusion, this is a derivation of the X-Files keeps me puzzled. In the pilot, it's the JFK murder they're visiting. The pilot involves people travelling back in time in order to investigate historical events (and the hidden truth behind them). I think the reader read it completely, but I'm not sure if he/she got the point of it. It's a 6/10 but compared to the other one, which took the reader over a week from 'Reading in Progress' to write the evaluation, this one was read and evaluated in a single day. Just got back the evaluation for 'Seekers'.
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